How to stay alive in college

This first part you can skip.

The happiest thing I remember about elementary is meeting people with the same interests as me — writing, reading, watching. For my whole four years in high school, I was writing (sometimes for the school newspaper, sometimes for my friends, sometimes for my blog readers in my anonymous blogs, sometimes for my special someone, sometimes for my English or Filipino teachers, but most of the time for my text buddies). When I was still in high school, I didn’t know what would happen after graduation. I never thought it would soon put me in a place where I would be made into what I am today.

And then college. My first year in college was a total waste of tuition. Most of the things that I know today are things that I learned from my college friends (they were 4th year students then). Joining the campus publication was the push that I needed. My editors were my teachers. Sometimes I tell people that my style of writing evolved because of my best bud, Kuya Jay. And then after telling them that, I realize that it’s an insult to Kuya Jay since I am not even half as good as he is. And since most of my friends were graduating students, I thought I’d be alone on the year after my first in college.

I became the Associate Editor of the publication, Budyong, during my second year (and during my third year). The position as an editor in the university publication, The Bicol Universitarian, was a bit enticing. When I was in first year, the EIC of the Universitarian told me to take the exam for the university pub. I took it, but I didn’t submit my entry. I have to thank my reasons for not joining the university publication. Whatever that was (and I can’t recall half of the reasons, but I know there were many), I’m glad I thought about them. I do not feel any kind of regret today.

There was something about the college publication that was keeping me from joining the bigger publication. Maybe I enjoyed the bond that we made inside. As a matter of fact, my time inside our office or with my co-writers is a double of my time inside the classroom. During those times, I knew that I should stay where I am needed.

My third year was eventful. While keeping communications with the past editors, I was busy meeting other people. I met new friends inside the university and from other schools in the Philippines. Again, I was out of the classroom most of the time. But I soon came to a realization that being an island when I enter the room is making me feel a bit unwelcome sometimes. So I tried my best to be close to some people I trust. (I don’t know IF they trust me, though. But I hope they do.) I built a bond with the people whose habits don’t include bragging about stuff they know or stuff they do.

Things aren’t similar. And things are in your control. During my elementary and high school year, it didn’t occur to me that I would soon look back at what I did with all my years and call my self a retard. Yes, everything the teachers taught back then seemed to be very important, but I forgot all of them after tests. It was like I was cheating my self. Learning is one thing, memorizing is its anti-matter.

While I was away from the classroom, completely aware that my classmates are keeping their heads busy with the classroom discussions, I told my self, “I am just glad this happened to me. I am learning stuff that I would soon hear my professor teach us two years from now.”

For a reason I already mentioned earlier in my Tumblr blog (see link above), I will not be graduating any time soon. That means I will undergo more pain than needed.

The real point of this blog post is…

I realized many things. Other things don’t mean anything to anyone but me. But here are some of it: